DOG POUND MOTORCYCLE CLUB
MARYLAND
BEST JOKES EVER... YOU DECIDE...

Favorite Stickers...

  • My Other ride is your daughter
  • Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep
  • I'm not Fuckin' Stupid... BUT I USED TO!
  • Don't ask to ride my bike... and I won't ask to ride your bitch!
  • I taught your boyfriend that thing you like
  • Smile - Its the SECOND best thing you can with your lips!
  • Consciousness: That annoying time between beers.
  • 9 out of 10 Bikers Prefer ORAL SEX!
  • I have the pussy... I make the rules
  • Mopeds are like fat women... Fun to ride but you don't wanna be seen with them
  • Nice Girls Swallow
  • A HARD MAN is GOOD TO FIND
  • My other toy has tits
  • I FUCK on the first date.
  • Dip me in honey and throw me to the lesbians
  • Thank you for Pot Smoking
  • Don't get Married - Find a woman you hate and buy her a house
  • I lost 200lbs... I left my wife!
  • ACT like an asshole - Get treated like an asshole
  • Don't let my big dick scare you - I'm really a nice guy
  • Don't let my big tits scare you - I'm really a nice girl
  • DIVORCE - The Fuckin' you get for Fuckin'
  • I may be Fat but your ugly... and I can lose weight.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
  • I taste so good you'll want the recipe
  • 24 Hours in a day... 24 beers in a case... coincidence?
  • Drink til she's cute, but stop before the wedding!
  • God made man because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
  • Ass, Gas, or Grass - nobody rides for free...
  • I don't need to FIND MYSELF - I'm always at the BAR
  • Bartender, if the ol' lady calls... I'm not here.
  • I WANNA DIP MY BALLS IN IT!
  • Eatin' Ain't Cheatin'
  • Being An asshole is just part of my charm
  • Hold my beer while I kiss your girl
  • Could you come back in a few beers?
  • How's your wife and my kids?
  • D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

Can’t Work Today

Biker Bob calls work, and says, "Hey, boss, I can’t work today. I’m fucking sick. My head hurts, stomach hurts, and legs hurt. I need the day off."

The boss says, " Damn, Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me head. That makes me feel better and I can go to work. You should try that."

Two hours later, Biker Bob calls back saying, "Boss, I did what you said and I feel great. I‘ll be at work soon. Oh, by the way boss, you’ve got one righteous wife."

I Want To Join Your Club!

The little old lady had always wanted to join a local biker club. One day she goes up and knocks on the door. A big, hairy bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She proclaims, "I want to join your club."

The guy was amused, but says she needs to meet certain requirements in order to join. The biker asks, "Do you have a motorcycle?"

The little old lady replies, "Yep... my bike's parked over there," and points to a Harley in the driveway.

The biker asks, "Do you drink?"

The little old lady replies, "Yep... drink like a fish. I'll drink any man in your club under the table."

The biker asks, "Do you smoke?"

The little old lady replies, "Yep...smoke like a chimney. At least 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars in the evening, while I'm shooting pool."

The biker is very impressed and asks, "Last question, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, "Nope... but I've been swung around by the nipples a few times."

Things not to say to a cop when you're pulled over...

Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

Want to race to the station, Sparky?

On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.

You'll never get those cuffs on me...Punk!

Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?

How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?

I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!

Yeah you can see my license and registration, officer, but could you hold my beer for a minute?

Hey, you must've been doing' about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job!

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

"Bad Cop! No Donut!"

THE PARKING TICKET

I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about five minutes. When I came out there was a cop writing a parking ticket.

So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My bike was parked around the corner.